Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Email Surprise

So today, I got an email from Family Research Council wonderboy Tony "I Swear I'm Not The Psycho Guy" Perkins. True to his protestations, Tony is not stabbing anyone in the shower: he's asking me for support for Justice Sunday II.

That's right. Remember that extravanganza of a flop the FRC put on with Bill "The Catbutcher" Frist and James "My Combover Shows How Much Dignity I Have" Dobson, back when they were extolling the horrors of the filibuster, which, if you listened to them, was apparently as much of a threat to our way of life as abortion and Muslims? They're putting on a goddamned sequel. If I were The General, I'd have a witty sendup of this in movie tagline form, but unfortunately, I'm not.

Still, though...damn. Isn't this fucking awesome? They're even keeping the name, for that redneck monster truck rally feel. And you don't have to wait long: it's this weekend. The speaker lineup is also excellent: Zell "No, I'm Really The Only True Democrat In Existence" Miller, the aforementioned dogbeater Dobson, Chuck "I'm Still Getting Over Being Sodomized For Richard Nixon's Sins" Colson, Phyllis "Despite What I Say When I Quote Things, I Swear I Know How To Read" Schlafly, and the one and only Bugman himself, fresh from discussing how talking about how we "evolutionized" led to some school shooting somewhere.

So this little shitfest of a circlejerk is definitely on, trying to rekindle the discussion over filibusters. They're even still going on about how we must stop the "filibuster against people of faith," despite the fact that I'm sure many of Bush's nominees who were confirmed, y'know, had faith. Unless they're saying it was a special kind of faith that made Miguel Estrada not want to turn over documents, which, given these fuckers, seems spot on with their form of religion.

To prepare, Perkins wanted to know if we could help pray. First, we should pray that the speakers are anointed as prophets. Second, we should pray that the media doesn't succeed in its Satanic purpose to completely demoralize and undermine the Forces of Good, otherwise known as James Dobson's schlubs. The media, it seems, is actively trying to "foment division" and "release discouragement" among pro-family (but only for straights, goddamnit) communities. As a result, we need to pray that the media coverage is both honest and favorable.

Shit, I'll pray for the first, but I'm pretty sure that excludes the second. The passage Tony decided to use as a reference for this prayer request was Nemeiah 4:1-6, which discusses how the heathens ridiculed the Jews who were building their wall. Apparently the wall against the filibuster is being built, and the media is the Ammonites. Or something. I don't fucking know what kind of metaphor Tony's trying to draw, but I'm sure it's good. After all, God is speaking through his giant anus, right?