Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Thoughts From A Spontaneous Road Trip

1) Best Sign Ever: "Welcome to the Onandaga Territory, where thieves, rapists, and murderers rule under Gov. George Custer Pataki."

Fuckin' a.

2) If I hear one more yuppie schmuck in a coffeeshop go on about how fucking backwards people in red states are by virtue of where they live, I'm going to have to teach him or her some manners while making the asshole squeal like a pig. Look, I'm about as goddamned blue state as they come, but how the shit do you think we're going to be able to, y'know, win a fucking election (even for dogcatcher) if you jerkoffs can't get the fact that living in a conservative area doesn't make one an uneducated, low-IQ, fundamentalist nekulturny? Jesus fucking Christ riding on a mechanical bull, it's not like there isn't some blue in the red states, and a shitload of red in the blue states, as it only takes this map to see. And that's not even the half of it: the same creationist shit that goes on in Kansas goes on in Pennsylfuckingvania, too. Goddamn, you motherfuckers, goddamn. This is why, of course, we can't just ignore this red state bullshit as being the result of living in some geographic area that somehow sucks the intelligence and culture out of its residents. Somehow I bet these pricks voted for Nader, too.

3) I know the Rude Pundit and most of you ladies are just drooling over John Roberts, that judicial hunk, but I'm saving my Article III cherry for Edith Jones. There's not much a riding by a horsewoman of the right-wing apocolypse can't fix, as we'll be sure to find out when the zombie corpse of William Rehnquist finally decides to retire. Oh, shit, that'll be a lovely clusterfuck, won't it?

Tomorrow: An extra special edition of Name That Motherfucker.