Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

News Flash: Bush Nominates Motherfucker For SCOTUS

I know, you're all shocked. The only question that ever existed, of course, was the degree and nature of the particular motherfucker, because that's all Bush ever nominates (see every single damned person in this administration...betting that Bush is going to nominate a motherfucker is like betting that a horse is going to win the fucking Derby). Even Paul O'Neill was a motherfucker before tiring of fucking mothers. But, back to SCOTUS: would he be the kind of motherfucker that likes to have threesomes with his mother and his best friend's mother, like Antonin Scalia? Or perhaps a motherfucker-in-denial like Miguel Estrada?

The answer, as we now know, is John Glover Roberts, Jr., Federalist Society hack and bosom buddy of the President (thereby ensuring that in terms of partisanship, the Court will be at about the same point, just with less sometimes-displayed integrity). And there's a laundry list, widely available, of all the mothers Roberts has fucked, both as a high-ranking official under Reagan and this President's pappy: rights of defendants, the environment, the protections of the Voting Rights Act, school desegregation, and, of course, Ansche Hedgepath, otherwise known as the french fry girl. There's Hamdan v. Rumsfeld (a poor sign of times to come if I've ever seen one). He's argued against Roe and sided with Operation Rescue, among other groups, and, let's face it, when you're on the side of Randall Terry, you've hit the bottom. Shit, as a student, he argued the Contract Clause of the Constitution protected corporations from legislation that would make them increase their obligations to their employees. He's not Scalia, to be sure, but he's worse than Rehnquist: take the Chief and mix him with Almond Joy and you've got John Roberts, right-wing nutbar, a man who doesn't think the Rehnquist Court is conservative.

Of course, to help ensure that Roberts' motherfuckery stays under the radar, the excuses are being brought out, first and foremost being "He was a deputy in the Solicitor General's office! None of this are his personal views!", forgetting that Roberts was the "political deputy": a position where the occupant is given the ideologically-charged cases to handle, so that he might also help shape the ideology in question. This is especially the case with abortion, where the dumbasses at RedState.org (which, from this point on, I refuse to actually link to) and elsewhere would have you believe that during his 2003 DC Circuit Court confirmation hearings, when Roberts said Roe "was the settled law of the land", this means he won't touch Roe, as opposed to, y'know, whittling it away until it's completely meaningless.

So fuck it. The question now is what do we do? To be sure, regardless of what we do now, we're going to get a motherfucker. And when Rehnquist goes, we'll get another motherfucker, giving us 4 avowed fuckers of mothers on the Court. And perhaps Roberts isn't as bad as the alternatives: if we defeat him, who's next? Janice Rogers Brown? Edith Jones? So perhaps, we should be grateful that we've got one of the lesser of motherfuckers and be done with it.

If we take that route, though, we'd better make sure that we let the country know that Roberts isn't a stealth son of a bitch. Anywhere there's a Roberts lovefest going on, we should be there, busting it up like the G-Men of old might bust up a bootlegger's operation. He's a jackass, through and through, and we know it. They're not getting anything by us. Let's shove him and every legal document he's ever written up the asses of every American until their rectums bleed, so everyone knows what we've got and nobody's surprised when Roberts decides the executive branch can do pretty much whatever it wants, and there's no way these cocksuckers can accuse us of flip-flopping on his confirmation when we point out that this is the type of asshat you get with Republicans in power. If they thought what we did to Bork was bad, they should see what I would do if I were in the Senate when Roberts' nomination came to the floor (blowup dolls would be involved, like the one Bud Bundy tried to pretend was his girlfriend for a while).

With Bork, at least, everyone knew he was a crazy ass wingnutty motherfucker. For Roberts, we need to make that clear, because he doesn't display it. But, c'mon, what else do you expect when Bush has a primetime televised news conference, to help distract us from Karl Rove? We've got a white, male Federalist Society lawyer who was once Pappy's boy; another perfect representative of the type that this administration truly works for. A man, who, assuredly, answered the right way when they gave him a laundry list of issues to give his position on and who helped fix Florida for Bush back in 2000. Wonder of all wonders, that.