Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Wingnuts On Parade

1) Why Bill O'Reilly Needs To Be Sodomized With A Nightstick: Bill O'Reilly had this to say about Gitmo: "The entire Gitmo situation has been driven by the anti-Bush press and the far-left human rights organization. As Talking Points has mentioned, there have been abuses, but not many. A Pentagon report found that there have been 28,000 interrogations at Gitmo over the past three years, and only five cases of Koran abuse. You can't fight a war on terror when every small mistake is magnified into a page 1 scandal."

Apparently, Qur'an abuse is the only type of abuse that occurs. Not, for example, "strangulation, beatings, placement of lit cigarettes into the detainees' ear openings and unauthorized interrogations." The fact that a lot of these things haven't been showing up, over and over again, on Page 1, is a sign of the bankruptcy of our media. Torture should be a goddamned Page 1 scandal. Fuck the Qur'an abuse, even, because as I've said, I don't give a rat's ass about it other than as a specific example.

So here's what we do. We send Bill to Guantanamo, copy of the Qur'an in hand, and subject him to strangulation, beatings, and we'll place a lit cigarette into his ear opening. Even better, we'll keep stuffing falafels up his puckered little asshole until they come out his mouth. None of that is an abuse, though: we'll leave his Qur'an alone.

2) Why Ann Coulter Is A Slimy Toadcunt, Part...oh, whatever, like this series has an end: Because she seems to think the UN Ambassador is part of the federal judiciary. The rest of the column is some nonsense about how unfair it is that Republicans in the Senate get abused by those vicious, snarling, unified Democrats, and this is why it was so sniveling of the seven Republican compromisers to want to strike a deal to keep the filibuster. Ann goes on about how the Senate is a virtual apartheid regime based on party affiliation. Google can't find me any instances of Ann getting upset when Republicans were filibustering Clinton's nominees. So I suggest not reading the column, which consists of the ravings of a demented toadcunt whose mind is too covered in slime to function.

3) Why Rush Should Have Shared Some OxyContin With His Bro: David Limbaugh shows that, much as some conservatives can watch The Killing Fields and be experts on the Khmer Rouge, he can do a Google search for quotes from The Gulag Archipelago and truly understand what torture and hell on earth are. Though I suppose given that Rush's productivity never slowed down while he was doped up, getting David stoned wouldn't help shut him up, either. Damn. Well, hopefully he'll overdose or something.

4) Why John Stossel Should Just Be Put Out Of Our Misery Already: The ever fabulous s.z. does her thing. To be honest, I can't think of a punishment for Stossel that's fitting. Any ideas?

5) Why Instapundit Gives Anyone Who Wants To Be a Law Professor Hope: Instapundit notes that "pharmacists enjoy a government-created monopoly on the dispensing of prescription drugs." But as reader Quasispace notes, this is far, far less of an issue than the damned monopoly on medical treatment obtained by those "doctors." Curse their priviledged position!

Note: Instapundit is, in full context, claiming that pharmacists should have to swallow a pill and dispense contraceptives. But being Instapundit, he just couldn't be not stupid for an entire post.

6) George W. Bush pretending to have soul or, really, to like black people who don't just smile at him.