Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Why Rush Limbaugh Should Have His Own Lipsuctioned Fat Shoved Up His Ass

Remind me never to go on vacations with Rush Limbaugh, man. Over the course of last week, Limbaugh referred to "Club G'itmo, the Muslim resort", y'know, cause those damned Mohammedans got two kinds of fruit and, you won't fucking believe how coddled they are, lemon chicken. Shit, i think they served lemon chicken once in my high school cafeteria. At least that's what they called it. Needless to say, some bitches were really sick after "Lemon Chicken Day." Here's a recipe for something that could legitimately be called lemon chicken, after all: Shit all over a chicken, and add the juice of a whole lemon. Let the bird roast in a chicken for a few hours. Serve. There's your "lemon chicken". The Oxycontin Boy Wonder even got t-shirts.

So all this leads to a question: where is Rush Limbaugh going for vacations? Is there a special room for vacationers to urinate or defecate on themselves? They get chained in the fetal position? Perhaps they get beaten senseless, like this soldier in a training drill. Maybe they have chemical irritant sprayed in their faces after being choked by water coming out of a hose. I'd spend more time wondering about how this cruise lines makes money, but, shit, whatever floats your boat.

But maybe it's just that Rush was too hopped up on "hillbilly heroin" to even remember what the hell a vacation is like, and is projecting any S&M fantasies he might be having onto this "vacation." Yeah, I'm gonna go with that. After all, oxycontin? It's an opioid. It numbs your senses, your inhibitions, shit, your conscience. In other words, it's perfect for Rush to keep on being Rush.