Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Monday, June 27, 2005

What Dick Durbin Should've Said

Here's what I wish Dick Durbin had said on Wednesday:

"Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is wrong with you people? I'm sorry if you aren't able to properly comprehend a passage. To those of you that are going on about how I slandered troops or how I've said we're Nazis or Stalinists, let me ask you this: how did you do well on your SATs, you thick pieces of shit? Let me restate what it was I said: if you didn't know that that FBI account, remember, it's from the fucking FBI, was about Americans, and someone asked you if you thought it was about Nazis, Stalinists, Khmer Rouge, or Americans, you probably wouldn't choose that last option. Got that? Do I need to speak more slowly? What the fuck kind of manufactured outrage is this now?

Look, I know I'm going to be featured in all of your attack ads and insipid comments right now regardless of what I say right now, since we all know how you treated Howard Dean and John Kerry, two men with more integrity and balls than the lot of you shitwipers put together, so let me be perfectly honest: I don't regret saying a damned thing. My only regret is your unwillingness or inability to actually spend some time thinking. That goes double for you, Mayor Daley, you backstabbing son of a bitch who can't even recognize that I didn't say a fucking thing about the Holocaust.

Good lord, this is a fucking fantasy camp for people who want to pretend they understand, well, anything, because clearly don't understand how to read, they don't understand current events, and they don't understand history. It doesn't matter that you're not literally being Nazis, Stalinists, or Khmer Rouge, got it? It doesn't matter a shit, and it never did. Gitmo isn't literally a fucking Gulag, and nobody said it was. How many dead prisoners, physically and mentally abused prisoners, outraged prisoners, and more terrorists do we fucking need before it gets rammed through your thick little skulls housing your tiny little monkey brains that all of this shit is fucked up? Being better than the Nazis doesn't mean you're good, you short-sighted needledicked motherfuckers. If you don't want to be compared to the Nazis, don't act like the Nazis at all. Are we similar to them? No, and that's the fucking point. But we're not different enough, and as I see it, that's a fucking problem. And don't even get me started on our policy of extraordinary rendition, which all of you blabbering asses have sat silent on.

So here's your fucking apology: I'm really fucking sorry I didn't say this shit sooner. I'm sick of you smug, idiotic shitlickers having your way without anyone calling you on it, and it ends here. Remember when Little Ricky Santorum, who I won't call my "colleague," compared Democrats to Hitler in Paris? I didn't see your fucking phony outrage then, and that actually was a Nazi comparison. So you can all fuck off. Here's the second part of my apology: I'm sorry that you assholes are going to lead to some poor American soldier down the road being tortured in some of the worst ways imaginable by our idiocy in not respecting the goddamned Geneva Conventions.

That's right, I'm looking at you, John McCain. You've sat by and let us violate international law that protects POWs, just like you sat by the smearing of John Kerry by those Swift Boat frauds. So you know what, you conniving motherfucker? Go away and never play the POW card again, because you're a fucking phony, and I'm going to hold you responsible the second one of my constituents is tortured, something which I hope to high hell never happens. As for the rest of you pill-popping, cat-butchering little toadies, shut the fuck up, sit down, and let Karl Rove go back to sticking his cock up your shriveled little ass before I get really nasty and make you suck my cock while I read more accounts of what we're doing at Gitmo on the fucking Senate floor. It's grownup time, and none of you motherfuckers qualify."