Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Wank Wank Wank

Before President Bush's speech, the Fox Nooz anchors were talking about the "refined message" he was going to introduce us to on Iraq.

By "refined," did they mean "the exact same thing?" Here's a list of the talking points Karl gave George to hammer over and over again:

1) "We're fucking fighting the same ruthless killers in Iraq that hit us on 9/11, man, why can't you see that?"
2) "They hate freedom. Also, they despise dissent. As do I. But I don't hate freedom. Really."
3) "Iraq is an extension of 9/11. After all, I made you a promise then, and this is another front in taking the fight to the enemy."
4) "Me make Iraq more free. Me make freedom march. Me kill terrorists."
5) "They hate freedom. They want to stop its inevitable march in the St. Freedom's Day Parade."
6) "Have I mentioned they're Very Bad People? I'm sure you didn't know that they were despicable. Let me list cases which show how despicable they are, just so you know that no matter what we do in Gitmo, we're still better than them. Go team!"
7) "Look, we had elections and transferred sovereignty. This isn't a fucking occupation!"
8) "Remember, if we fight terrorists in Iraq, there's no way they can hit us at home."
9) "No, really. Iraq is about 9/11. 9/11 9/11 9/11."
10) "Rebuilding a country is hard. Who would've thought that? I know I didn't!"
11) "The UN is in Iraq. Despite our best efforts. Fuckers."
12) "The Iraqi troops aren't like the ARVN. Certainly the numbers I'm giving you aren't inflated by corrupt commanders and soldiers looking for more money. No sir."
13) "We will not let Iraq be a base for terrorism, even though the only reason this is an issue is my administration's incompetance."
14) "Look, NATO's opening a school!"
15) "I'm getting ready to bail if this looks like it'll hurt my Congressional majority next year."
16) "Iraqis are courageous! That's totally not something I would've thought."
17) "I'll send more troops when commanders tell me they need them. Which hasn't happened yet...right Dick and Don?"
18) "Freedom, freedom, freedom. Did you get that? Freedom."
19) "I can't say enough that they're Very Bad People."
20) "America is great. This is a free country. We love freedom. We will spread freedom in a massive freedom orgy."
21) "I thank military families for not demanding my head for our incompetance in Iraq."
22) "Remember, above all, stay the course. And if this isn't a metaphor for the 2006 elections, I don't know what is!"

Nothing we haven't heard repeatedly. I guess the "refining" was in cutting out "Saddam Hussein made the choice to have this war" and anything to do with "weapons of mass destruction" (though I kept waiting for him to say "The terrorists have weapons of mass destruction...we know where they are"). In other words? I was right. Bush is the furry we're collectively dating. Goddamn it.

I also kept waiting for him to invoke the goddamned silent majority in this country and truly is standing with him in supporting the war:

Let historians not record that when America was the most powerful nation in the world we passed on the other side of the road and allowed the last hopes for peace and freedom of millions of people to be suffocated by the forces of totalitarianism.

And so tonight--to you, the great silent majority of my fellow Americans--I ask for your support.

I pledged in my campaign for the Presidency to end the war in a way that we could win the peace. I have initiated a plan of action which will enable me to keep that pledge.

The more support I can have from the American people, the sooner that pledge can be redeemed; for the more divided we are at home, the less likely the enemy is to negotiate at Paris.

Let us be united for peace. Let us also be united against defeat. Because let us understand: North Vietnam cannot defeat or humiliate the United States. Only Americans can do that.
It's like they're sucking the cock of Nixon's corpse, trying to squeeze out every last bit of Nixon's essence that they can.