Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Reasonable Republicans Gone Wild

John Cole is, as best as I can tell, as reasonable and moderate a Republican blogger as they can come, and he's generally worth reading, especially when he goes off on the wingnuts that have hijacked his party.

But for the love of god, his post on Howard Dean as chair is a piece of damned crappery. We can ignore the part about how Dean is making gaffes that are going to get played over and over again, because that's what Dean is going for. You think he wants anything more than CNN playing a clip saying "The Republicans are a monolithic white Christian party" over and over again? And we sure as flying fuck can ignore the part about the Swift Boat Veterans -- they may have had a legitimate beef in your mind (though the only way I could ever read it was that John Kerry was, upon his return, was supposed to shut the fuck up and crawl back into the hole he came out of), but nothing out of their mouths was true, so unless you're buying into the "fake but accurate" nonsense you go on to lambast, you're sucking John O'Neill's cock, to put it mildly. And for the record, nobody is surprised the media lapped up the Swift Boat charges (we do know how they operate, and we, unlike most of your side, don't think they're liberal). That doesn't mean we should like that they lapped it up.

Think about it this way. Suppose a bunch of guards at Gitmo, or Bagram, or hell,let's use Abu Ghraib, got together and formed "Abu Ghraib Prison Guards for Truth," running ads about how they were betrayed by the whistleblowers who reported them. Would you, John, defend these people as having a "legitimate beef" at feeling betrayed? If not, then where's the disanalogy? Hell, what if a bunch of Nixon's cronies got together to form "Watergate Convicts for Truth," complaining about how W. Mark Felt...

Ok, bad example.

But that's a thought for another time. John makes the following comments:

Let's put Dean in charge of the DNC, and rather than put forward a coherent plan for, well, ANYTHING, let's spasm in agony about the Ohio voting, do everything we can to portray Iraq in the worst possible light, and get pissy with the media. With a couple million more Soros dollars and the Huffington Post coupled with this winning stratgey, the Democrats are a lock in 2006!

And, of course, all the Democrats will be shocked the media is paying attention to Dean's latest outburst. If you are too damned stupid to figure this out on your own, you are too stupid to run the country. The Kerry records show that, though, don't they? You guys just aren't as smart as you think you are.

But right now, Democrats- you deserve to be in the minority. Grow up. Have an original idea. Put forward an agenda. And step on the necks of your wingnuts, which, due to your stunning political awareness, includes the chairman of your party. You don't have to appeal to the wingnuts- the Naderite left is not voting for the Republican in 2008, just like they didn't in 2004. In short, it is ok to be bold. But voters punish idiots who can't control themselves.
Oh John, John, John. I think Howard Dean scored a hit, a palpable hit, despite your claims of not being offended, because this is the opposite of reasonable.

It's not the role of the opposition party to lead from the shadows, to provide specific counterproposals, because they can't actually do anything. What's the point of having a particular plan if it's going to get squashed? The role of an opposition party is to oppose. Plans are useless because by the time we can implement them, shit changes. If we have a plan for Iraq now? Irrelevant in a month. Social security? Irrelevant as soon as economic conditions change.

Now, don't get me wrong: Democrats have been really, really nonexistent as an opposition. Until the Social Security fiasco, we had no sense of unity in opposition. Oh, but the soul's back. But we don't need to provide specific counterproposals.

Suppose I'm in the only supermarket in town (this town apprently sucks a lot), and I really, really need a tomato for whatever it is I'm cooking tonight. Unfortunately, there are only two, and because my town sucks to high hell, they're not getting any more. I'm way, way, way too stubborn to change my mind about what I'm cooking, but still, I need a goddamned tomato. One of the tomatoes is obviously rotten to the core. It's got mold growing on it. Suffice to say that it's fucking nasty. But the other one -- it's hard to tell. It could suck, it would be perfectly good.

John, are you going to tell me that you'd get the moldy tomato because you just don't know what the other tomato is going to do for you? Remind me to either bring you groceries or never eat at your place, man.

But that's the point. Democrats don't need to have specifics. That wouldn't be a good thing, because when we get back in power, your comrades are going to hold us to the plans we propose now, like the shitheads they are, crying about how we've "flip-flopped." But we know what the Republican specifics are, and they almost entirely suck. So it shouldn't matter what the Democrat plans are -- the Republicans have shitty ones and shouldn't be in power.

Otherwise your marinara sauce is just gonna make everyone else vomit all over your floor, and nobody wants that, John. So put down the sugar, John, and take some deep, slow breaths.