Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

President Organ Grinder Monkey

This is somewhat old news now, but I don't really care, because I meant to post it a couple of days ago, and in the end, who gives a shit? Now, maybe I'm just a short-sighted America hater, but I've never been able to come to grips with the way many conservatives label Gitmo prisoners "terrorists", given they haven't actually been charges or convicted or anything. But hey, that's never stopped us from labeling people here (and I can't possibly begin to think about whom I might be talking) as guilty when they haven't been found that way in court. A few weeks ago, during Dear Leader's blowjob session with Neil Cavuto, he commented in response to a question on allegations of improper treatment at Gitmo, "These were terrorists, swept up off the battlefield in a place like Afghanistan, for example" and added something about wanting to learn more about these people. Now, if I recall correctly, wanting to learn more about terrorists got us on the left the label of "appeasers" and "terrorist-coddlers," didn't it?

That's a digression, however. See, a few days ago, after the US-EU summit, Bush had this to say: " Make no mistake, however, that many of those folks being detained -- in humane conditions, I might add -- are dangerous people." The "humane conditions" aside, um, well...maybe this is a subtlety of the English language I've missed (after all, Bush is well renowned as a master of his native tongue), but doesn't saying "many" of those folks being detained are dangerous imply that "some" are, if not dangerous, not known to be dangerous? And, well, shit, if "some" aren't known to be dangerous, why are they being kept at Gitmo, uncharged, treated "humanely" or not? And why is Bush telling Fox Nooz "these," referring to the prisoners at Gitmo, "were terrorists?" Perhaps because nobody at Fox or any of its viewers are going to call him on it? And, to get back to the issue I started with, how, without any sort of legal process, does George W. Bush know jack shit about "many" of the myriad of prisoners kept in that hellhole?

Ah, but George Bush has been good at nothing if not knowing how to dance on command. He's not a good dancer, but by god, he'll stand up there with his little fez and he'll grin that little monkey grin and cut your taxes and it's all so very cute, cause he's trying so very hard. He even had a "He forget Poland!" moment, telling the press corps they were offending people by not asking the other two bodies up around him questions. See, he's a team player -- cute!

Of course, that's until you realize that he's the goddamned President of these fucking United States, the leader of the free world, and that by his own admission he's trying to make people feel pleasantly surprised he doesn't drool on himself.

More fun from the press conference: "We're now waiting for a federal court to decide whether or not they can be tried in a military court, where they'll have rights, of course, or in the civilian courts. We're just waiting for our judicial process to move -- to move the process along...when the courts make the decision they make, we'll act accordingly." Here, "acting accordingly" of course includes "screeching about damn activist liberal judges trying to undermine the war on terrah if they tell us inhumane shitheads to grant these terrahists due process." Oh, how they will wail, like a woman on the verge of a long-due orgasm, if the courts tell them to shape up and abide by the notion of law. We'll hear all about how between this, gay marriage, and so on, how we need to get rid of the filibuster, how these activist judges are endangering us, and how liberals hate baby Jesus and are beholden to Hollywood. It'll be a lot of fun to do this all over again, let me tell you.

Bush also noted he thinks about Iraq every day. This, of course, placing Iraq up on the president's list of priorities with "taking a shit," which I'm sure he also thinks about every day (probably several times, actually). Of course, with his cronies, he's managed to take a big old dump on Iraq, so maybe it's fitting. But maybe, just maybe, Bush wants to take some time aside from just thinking about Iraq to think about the troops that're there (for reasons other than turkey) and try to get the military to give them, y'know, equipment?

Finally, Bush says "there's a reason" he nominated John Bolton to be our UN ambassador, and guess what? It's not "because he really fucking hates the UN and wants to stick them with Bolton after having given them Negroponte earlier." It's because "John Bolton is a reformer!" And that's true, in a sense: when Bolton leaves a department, things improve (via Pepper). A lot. This, then, perfectly suiting Bolton to the Bush administration, which is chock full of people we were pleased to have gotten rid of, back when we thought we had.