Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Monday, May 09, 2005

Everybody's FDR-Hatin'

As far as I'm concerned, Franklin Delano Roosevelt was the greatest president of the last century, and easily one of the top five presidents ever. See, that crippled motherfucker had balls of steel. He stood up to the bankers, to the Republicans, to the entrenched elite, to the pieces of shit that continued to profit during the Depression, both as governor of New York and then as President, and we know how tough it is to stand up to the elite interests. He realized how stupid the gold standard was. Hell, the only bastard that was more radical than him at the time was that fabulous scoundrel Huey Long. He was so fucking righteous that people in his hometown dismissed him as a traitor to his class. Then FDR helped lead us through World War II before his untimely death, but by that time, he'd completely changed how we view government and helped to show just how right John Maynard Keynes was.

Fucking great bastard. But now, less great bastards are trying to snipe at him where it's safe, when he's dead (I'm pretty sure FDR could kick their lily-livered asses all the way back to Hyde Park if he could have, y'know, kicked).

First there's that abortion of Social Security "reform," which entails gutting a retirement insurance program to create a nice little Ponzi scheme, as the vicious Paul Krugman makes clear here. The most beautiful part of the debate over this was when the right collectively pulled down its pants and started masturbating to FDR's long since rotted corpse, as seen in this Progress for America ad which fades at the end from FDR to Bush. Of course, the entire thing was cover for actually destroying FDR's baby, but hey, it's not like there's any lack of sexual deviancy on the right. Can't you just see Rick Santorum fantasizing about a three-way with FDR's corpse and a hound dog?

It's fucking surreal, but hey, they keep invoking MLK as an anti-affirmative action advocate when the son of a bitch said "A society that has done something special against the Negro for hundreds of years must now do something special for the Negro" and in fact helped start the first successful affirmative action program, Operation Breadbasket. Still, it was very entertaining, and I kept waiting for them to dig up Huey Long's corpse and start dancing around it, shouting "Share our wealth!"

And now, we have this: Bush Faults WWII Legacy in Europe, particularly Yalta. Sure, there are pretty words, such as "Once again, when powerful governments negotiated, the freedom of small nations was somehow expendable. Yet this attempt to sacrifice freedom for the sake of stability left a continent divided and unstable. The captivity of millions in Central and Eastern Europe will be remembered as one of the greatest wrongs of history" and "We will not repeat the mistakes of other generations -- appeasing or excusing tyranny, and sacrificing freedom in the vain pursuit of stability...We have learned our lesson. No one's liberty is expendable. In the long run, our security, and true stability, depend on the freedom of others."

Of course, it helps if they're actually free, and not, say, liable to be rounded up to be sent to Gitmo or (formerly) Abu Ghraib for the flimsiest of reasons, but we can ignore that for the time being. The important thing is that, in this speech, Bush transported FDR's skull to Latvia, where he proceeded to bore a small little hole right below the chin, which he then proceeded to vigorously fuck, stroking it up and down his cock like it belonged to a horse.

Let there be no mistake: this was a class A, wet, loose shit dropped all over FDR's legacy. And in addition to that, it indicates a complete lack of touch with history, that all so inconvenient burr in the side of Republicans (take for example, when they go on about how Democrats were responsible for opposing the Civil Rights Act, when most of the jackasses doing so bolted shortly thereafter to join the GOP). See, as awful as the Soviet government was, they were the motherfuckers who broke Germany's back. See, the Soviets won World War II in Europe, and we helped. As much as we like to pump up our national ego, that's how it went down. They were going to get their due there, and we wanted to stop them from getting involved with Japan. Steve Gilliard does a good job handling the historical side of this shit.

And of course, if Bush really wants to tread on the issue of sacrificing the liberty of small nations in exchange for freedom, he could always start with his ideological godfather, the Gipper, and the man he tried to appoint to investigate 9/11, Henry Kissinger. These two slimebags did more of that than probably all of the other Cold War players put together. It was practically a combination of the Great Game and the carving up of Africa with these bitches. So I fully expect to see the freedom loving Bush to start going off on Reagan and Kissinger any day now.

Shit, it's incredible how Bush can find it in him to apologize for our past national "mistakes" even if he can't acknowledge he made any himself (at least as of last April, where he couldn't come up with a mistake he had made when asked at a press conference). If the douchebag really wants to start saying he's sorry, the Center for American Progress has a nice list here of things he could try, and that's a year old.

Edit: Max Blumenthal notices some similarities between Bush's speech and Ann Coulter's favorite Senator, Furious Joe McCarthy.