Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Culture of Life - Christian Charity Edition

For the first time since 1960, what is probably the bluest fucking state in the country, Connecticut, executed someone. Champion of life and devout Christian George W. Bush, if you recall, made extensive use of capital punishment as governor of Texas. Hell, executions have been in decline since Bush left the state.

See, we here in America love the death penalty. We love it so much, after liberating the hell out of Iraq, one of the first things we did was to let them restore it, even though most states just out of a wanton despotism have banned it, knowing just how subjective the idea of "justice" is. But hey, those countries are mostly anti-freedom, like Germany.

Why do we love the death penalty? Oh, we like to say it's for the closure, for the sense of karmic justice. What goes around comes around, after all, and if someone lets themselves get convincted of a capital offense, they probably deserved it. I mean, the poor cocksuckers probably did something wrong; hell, they're fucking poor, so clearly they're doing something wrong (recall that to the guardians of our culture of life, the rich are better than you).

But there are other reasons, too. The death penalty helps ease overcrowding in jails, and for the love of god, don't attribute that to a moronic war on drugs that locks up potheads with rapists and murderers. Plus, the death penalty has a sort of nebulous deterrant effect, cause we all know most murderers think about exactly what they're doing before they do it, and they all think they're going to get caught.

Ah, but the real reason lies below, in our barbaric little subconscious. It's a nice blood lust we've got going, the same type of desire to see others shit and piss themselves while spasming that led to minimal outrage over Abu Ghraib and the abuses at Gitmo while also leading us to support a pre-emptive war without even so much as trying to look at any evidence (which sounds kind of familiar, since most schmucks who babble on about OJ haven't seen any of the evidence, either).

But see, death is even better. It lets us get that nice little high of revenge, which is even better than fucking smack, man, even if it doesn't last as long. We see it when we let the grieving, angered families of victims go off in front of cameras and in courtrooms. Hell, you'd think the desire of the families was the centerpiece of our farce of a judicial system. In theory, justice should be blind, but shit, that's a disability, and our justice is strong and masculine and definitely not nude.

And from here on it leads. Death can't give closure. If you can't get closure from screwing your cheatin' ex-wife's sister up her sweet, sweet asshole (in a way David Hager would be proud of), you're not gonna get it from a controlled, "clean" execution well after your family member is gone. Do we honestly think there's some substitute for a loved one? Death isn't enough for what we want it to be. No, then we need torture. Inflict some of the pain on those sons of bitches that they inflicted on us, right? Even Eugene Volokh, the Internet's favorite constitutional law professor, wrote:

I particularly like the involvement of the victims' relatives in the killing of the monster; I think that if he'd killed one of my relatives, I would have wanted to play a role in killing him. Also, though for many instances I would prefer less painful forms of execution, I am especially pleased that the killing — and, yes, I am happy to call it a killing, a perfectly proper term for a perfectly proper act — was a slow throttling, and was preceded by a flogging. The one thing that troubles me (besides the fact that the murderer could only be killed once) is that the accomplice was sentenced to only 15 years in prison, but perhaps there's a good explanation.

I am being perfectly serious, by the way. I like civilization, but some forms of savagery deserve to be met not just with cold, bloodless justice but with the deliberate infliction of pain, with cruel vengeance rather than with supposed humaneness or squeamishness. I think it slights the burning injustice of the murders, and the pain of the families, to react in any other way.

And this about a member of the Axis of Evil. Tsk tsk.

Ah, but back to the late Mr. Ross. The CNN story discusses the sister of one of his victims:
Stavinsky's sister, Debbie Dupris, said the execution did not give her the closure she was expecting to feel, but it did serve a purpose.


Of course it didn't. But that's why we look forward to the next one, and then the next one, expecting finally, we'll kill enough people to have closure. And even though it didn't work for Batman, it'll fucking work for us, won't it?

And until then, the guardians of the culture of life will tell us how great the death penalty is, and why we gotta impeach judges who try to outlaw it for kids. They'll go on and on about how Jesus would want us to electrocute or poison these bitches, for as he put it in The Gospel of Assholes, "Judge and condemn to death, lest ye be killed." They'll be everywhere, reminding us that clemency is not a form of charity, and the only Christ-like thing to do is to cast the first stone. After all, who can better mete out God's punishment to those who may be guilty than us?