Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Tax Day? Almost As Good As Sex

I fucking love the progressive income tax. If the progressive income tax were a human being, I would feel roughly towards it as I do Paul Krugman (who I'm reasonably sure would jump right down into the mud and outrude all of us if he weren't being censored) -- generally very fond, with the occasional deeply felt need to offer a blowjob.

Now, I'm not a damned economist. If you want, you can find them, some of them very good, to give you a nice economic argument on why the progressive income tax is so nice. So unlike some masses of ignorant twerps who have no idea what they're talking about, we here at Uncivil Discourse won't bore you with attempted wonkdom where wonkdom is not fucking warranted. It's really just not in our mission statement.

No, I'm not an economist. But what I am is sick of those right-wing and libertarian asshats who think freedom consists of being able to not pay taxes, own as many guns as you want, and being able to pick on gays, blacks, and Latinos to their heart's content. Now, of course, there are those so-called "moderate" libertarians who don't like that last bit, but they're nothing but fucking enablers for the other shitheads. When they wake up, I'll be the first to welcome them into reality, but hey, given that these simpering idiots have sat there through the late 90s and this administration without snapping out of their delusions as to the true agenda of the Republican Party, I'm not counting on it actually happening. As long as these ingrates keep getting their taxes cut, they're happy.

But I'm not (as you might have guessed). See, as I said, I fucking love the progressive income tax. Who benefits the most from our society? The same rich motherfuckers who have to pay the most taxes. After all, they get the security of not having their places looted by angry mobs and the safety of government-overseen stability when it comes to their investments and other money-making enterprises. They don't have to live in ghettos full of violence and drug use.

So yes, they should pay the most taxes. This seems obvious to everyone except either the most stupidly deranged cunts out there or the most evil ones (see that fuckjob Grover Norquist).

No, I don't have much tolerance for claims that "taxes are a disincentive for wealth." That's like saying having to find comfortable underwear is a disincentive for having a large penis. It's not true at all and makes no sense whatsoever. As the Medium Lobster put it, "Indeed, we all remember the day Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, slouching in their tattered jeans and stained wife-beaters, announced their decision to quit their jobs and wallow in poverty rather than pay the terrible price of living in opulence."

And I especially don't have any patience for those who advocate scrapping the income tax altogether for a national sales tax. I have a very strong desire to carry feeding tubes with me so I can ram it down their throats to prevent their bodies from consuming what little brains they have left. Look, this isn't difficult. A sales tax is regressive. It makes the poor pay more of their income. It raises the prices of essentials like a fucking gallon of milk. The poor already spend almost every last dollar of their miserable little incomes, if they have any.

What is wrong with you people? Why do you incite a strong desire in me to beat you over the head with several books, including a book I'm sure you've never read called On the Wealth of Nations, which contains the sentiment, as given by the Treasury Department in 1916, that

The Committee further explained that the revenue system should be more evenly and equitably balanced and "a larger portion of our necessary revenues collected from the incomes and inheritances of those deriving the most benefit and protection from the Government."

How far back to these motherfuckers want to go? It's definitely past the New Deal, and it's just as certainly past the fucking Progressive Era (I keep waiting for the press conference where Rick Santorum is going to urinate on Upton Sinclair's exhumed remains). Hell, I think they want to go back to good old imperial mercantalism, given their attitudes are clearly pre-Adam Smith. Now all we need is Queen Elizabeth, and the colonies can start pouring in the dough (as opposed to free states like, say, China, which is currently subsidizing our stupid asses) while we gainfully employ those slacker kids I see everywhere.

My rage for these people might just never die.

Later today: I'll post some more on the idiocy and foul-smelling sewage of the anti-intellectual religious right.