Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Is It Possible to Sodomize Someone With Falafels?

I briefly asked earlier why it is that smug dick Bill O'Reilly hasn't been more vocally criticized, condemned, brutally beaten, etc, for completely ignoring his pledge to "never trust the Bush administration again" if we didn't find weapons of mass destruction. But then it occured to me earlier today that it's not that O'Reilly has absolutely no fucking integrity whatsoever, it's that the man's got the memory of two-weeks-before-death Ronald Reagan! Oh yes, the sweet, sweet pangs of senility, they have warmly embraced Falafel-Man.

It couldn't have been more than three years ago when O'Reilly, who's like that annoying little yappy dog next door who just will never shut the fuck up, declared a fucking holy war on the rapper Ludacris and Pepsi and having the audacity to hire Ludacris to sell soda. At that point, the little pissant said, "I'm calling for all responsible Americans to fight back and punish Pepsi for using a man who degrades women, who encourages substance abuse and does all the things that hurt particularly the poor and our society." And it was nice to see that O'Reilly cares so much about women and the poor.

But here we are now. And O'Reilly has this bit called "The Most Ridiculous Item of the Day," which is somehow never his splotchy ass. Anyhow, today he has this:

Snoop Dogg gets some bad news. Harvard doesn't want him. The rapper was supposed to appear at the school in May, but some students objected, citing lyrics on the rapper's latest album about slapping women to keep them under control. Very nice.

Since Harvard has enough problems with women, as we just heard [earlier in the show] having Snoop show up could not have helped, so he has been disinvited. Ridiculous? You make the call.


So it's ridiculous for Harvard to disinvite Snoop because he's rapped about smacking up women, but it's a moral imperative for Pepsi to drop Ludacris because he's, well, rapped about smacking up women. This makes perfect sense to the mind of the senile.

I could mention more, but Al Franken of course explored O'Reilly's inability to distinguish between the awards he's "won" and other awards which are more prestigious. Before, I might have attributed this shit to O'Reilly being a self-promoting cuntface who should be repeatedly sodomized with a Peabody award (note: I don't still think he's not a self-promoting cuntface who should be repeatedly sodomized with a Peabody award). But it is becoming more clear that he just simply doesn't know! And oh, how that's been true of almost everything I've ever heard come out of his pathetic little mouth...

So instead of publicly wondering how people can take this meatbag seriously, when he's clearly demonstrated a lack of any shreds of integrity or connection to facts, let us mourn. The motherfucker's mentally ill. And in the end, might that not be why he can't tell a falafel from a loofah?