Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Exactly What I Needed

I mentioned the Minuteman Project a few days ago. And oh, does it keep getting better.

See, these miserable needledicks, having declared victory over the hostile Mexican forces, are now looking to staunch the great white invasion from Canada. So no, despite the initial Great Brown Peril that spurred these self-styled Revolutionaries to action, they are, as they say, completely independent of "separatists, racists or supremacy groups or individuals, no matter what their race, color, or creed." And as noted immigration experts Lou Dobbs, Sean Hannity, and Michelle "Not A Cunt, But Should Shut The Fuck Up" Malkin have pointed out, they must truly just be a big neighborhood watch, concerned with upholding immigration law.

Yeah, and putting Ahmed Chalabi as acting oil minister was the best fucking idea ever.

Look, these limp-dicked compensating motherfuckers kidnapped a Mexican man and made him hold up a t-shirt. They link to groups like Save Our State, which features stories like this one about how Mexico is running an "insurgency" that could lead to another 9/11. Oh, and other wannabe badasses such as the Aryan Nation and VDare have been the most vocal supporters of the Minutemen. One of the most prominent members of the Minutemen is a bitch named Joe McCutchen, who got some nice play in this story (via Orcinus).

Joe, it seems, has been busy, writing letters including such gems as "To survive, America must surmount P.C., revisionism and incendiaries enemies hurl, i.e. racists, anti-Semitic, xenophobe, et. al."

No, I don't fucking understand it, so don't ask me. And frankly, I get a little worried at the idea of heavily armed paranoid white redneck fucks patrolling the border.

And these guys are getting mainstream. Wayne Allard (MF-CO) has called for them to be deputized. Their leader, Chris Simcox,, who really, really fucking loves his guns (but he's not compensating for anything, you unpatriotic dick), is a relatively frequent guest on Lou Dobbs' CNN show, where Lou has made comments along the lines of:

Outstanding. We wish you all of the success in the world. And you know, you said it at the outset, that it's a shame that it takes activism on the part of citizens. You know, I think that we could also make a counterargument. It's kind of nice to know that Americans still have that activism in their hearts, the capacity to volunteer to do the right thing. And we thank you, Chris Simcox, for being with us.


Lou also happens to be, for the record, the whitest man this side of Jerry Falwell, a bitch who knows nothing if not the fabled art of the pander.

Let's get honest about a couple of things. Canada's not being discussed because we're concerned about hordes of white people crossing the border in violation of immigration laws. Nobody would blink an eye if lots of English speaking Canadian natives were watering lawns or picking crops. This would simply not be a fucking issue. Canada's being talked about because the way to make this seem important is to link this to terrorism, and the only known case of a terrorist entering the country from a border crossing was from Canada. Because, really, on the grand scale of lawlessness, illegal immigrants are right down there with pot smokers and people who go 10 miles an hour over the speed limit, especially given how this country must have people it can abuse and pay less than minimum wage for those jobs it can't send overseas (to all those sweet, sweet sweatshops).

No, Canada's cover. It's all a cover for thinly disguised paranoid racism (a wonderful byproduct of the Bush Administration's quest to keep us fuckin' scared). But let's not all suddenly act like shocked, shit-throwing monkeys. It's not like this is something new. Apologizing for the Confederate flag being hoisted around by concocting ideas about "states rights" that have been dead in reality since John C. Calhoun croaked is the same shit. Supporting racial profiling because it's people of a certain complexion that deal drugs or commit terrorism is the same shit.

And for the love of God, can we at least stop misusing history? The goddamn Minutemen, the real ones, were the militia of first the state of Massachusetts, then other states, not some fucking mythological group of citizens who got guns and decided they needed to go shoot someone. They were, as the Second Amendment states, "a well-regulated militia" that was later subsumed into the Continental Army. I know this comes as a shock to all those gun nuts who like to style themselves after the Revolutionaries, but, well, fuck 'em.

One thing to keep in mind, though, is that we can't blame these small dicked bastards for this latest manifestation of, to paraphrase Hofstadter, the paranoid racist strain in American politics. No, it's the constant pushing of the motherfuckers in the Bush Administration to keep us afraid that's gotten these shits over the edge.

And you know what the best part of it all is? The most effective, and probably the only, way to stop the illegal immigrant "problem" would be to dry up the job supply, because I don't think those poor folks would be risking their health to cross the Arizona and Southern California deserts if they didn't know they had jobs waiting for them. But that would require going after the corporations that employ them, and we can't have that, can we? That would require wanting to ensure people are treated like, well, human beings. This current route is so much fucking easier.