Uncivil Discourse

Because civility is overrated.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Asshats, All

For those of you who don't know, I spent a good deal of time in the grand state of Illinois, home of our Speaker of the House, Dennis "Yes Sir May I Have Some More" Hastert, and over this time, I was able to learn a good deal about this motherfucker. Now Hastert shows the truth of Bertrand Russell's famous comment that "There is no need to worry about mere size...We do not respect a thin man less than a fat man...Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on this account value him less." For you see, I have not a whit of respect for this man, who is, in fact, rather obese..

Hastert, and Newt Gingrich before him, also proves that Washington Irving was a poor observer of society. For Irving said "Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot or herding together in turbulent mobs?" Yes, Hastert is a fat man, a big pile of blubber. But more than that, he's a big pile of shit.

Let's flash back to December 30, 1998, when Dennis "Lord of Eating Pies" Hastert declared he intended to run for the position of Speaker. Said Hastert, "The most important thing that we have to do is to restore the faith of the American people in the U.S. Congress, and the faith of American people that American government works." This was, of course, in the context of that blubbering fool Newt Gingrich's ethical lapses and constant Republican attacks on Bill Clinton. Ethics were front and center.

Fastforward to today. Hastert's office has proposed three changes to the ethics rules, one of which is particularly egregious. Ah, yes, we are full of restoring faith in government. The Republicans, flush with hubris and mad with power, have no concern for anything they had previously paid lip service to. Potential automatic dismissal of complaints if a majority can't decide how to proceed? Check (especially given that the committee is evenly split among partisan lines). And of course, it's Democrats that want the ethics committee to flounder. Good lord, do these cuntwads ever listen to themselves speak? There has to be some crazy cognitive dissonance going on here. You motherfuckers stack the ethics committee and set the rules so if no Republican wants to proceed, things just get dropped?

Like I said before, I can't make this shit up. The fever pitch of stupidity just keeps getting higher and higher.

Couple this, of course, with Hastert's bullshit pronouncement last year that he "didn't feel comfortable introducing controversial legislation" without knowing the vote would swing the Republican way. I'll tell you what Hastert wouldn't feel comfortable with, and that's a forced enema to clear out most of the shit lining his insides.

What fucking hypocrites. And of course, the moment we get back in power, it'll be back to how it was before. It's a vicious cycle, and one that always seems to end with motherfuckers.

And this is where we stand, with the fat man having his way. Washington Irving was so full of shit.