So over the past few days, I caught part of the Senate Judiciary Committee's hearings on John "Peppermint Patty" Roberts. And dear sweet god, was it painful. It's not just that one got nothing out of substance between Senators prattling and Roberts' refusal to answer any questions on the grounds that he's not as mindblowingly stupid as Antonin Scalia. It's not even that, watching it, one would think that Roberts' only personality trait is that he's humble. It was more like trying to watch a boxing match that you don't have money on and where you know the better prizefighter is going to either go down in the 5th or he's going to have his balls cut off: pathetic, sad, and frustrating.
Cause, see, on Tuesday, you had Joe Biden refusing to let Roberts answer his questions, knowing that not only was he not going to, but that it wasn't going to matter a whit anyway. Chuck Schumer and Dianne Feinstein were reduced to stating that they just don't know how they're going to vote, and how they really just wanted to get to know John Roberts the man, who is apparently so very, very, very humble (his judicial philosophy also consists of "I'm humble"). Schumer also had a spectacular ramble about movies and how some people liked Casablanca on Wednesday that highlighted the completely irrelevance of it all, and how it's just a formality on the road to Bush's packing the Court. Ted Kennedy? He talked about Katrina.
But, oh dear god, the Republicans were even more idiotic than is their norm. Lindsey Graham used some of his question time to ask John Roberts why we as a nation won't support our President in this time of national crisis. Tom Coburn, well, he did the crossword, cried, and asked if the opposite of being dead was being alive. And so on, and so forth, just as it always was.
I think I'd rather have watched Survivor. At least that game's not rigged. Here, it's like watching porn with the word "anal" in the title. You know there's going to be some assfucking. It's not even an issue of when, it's going to happen soon, and it's going to happen a lot.
Though, if we could vote Senators off the Judiciary Committee, it would be a massive improvement. It might, in fact, be the best reality show ever. Can't you just see it? And now, I need to run, but later, I'll post my order of who should get voted then.
But mind you, it will be void of specifics, it will refuse to commit to anything, it will be irrelevant, it will go on and on at length about irrelevant things, and most of all, it will be humble, because it's related to the Judiciary Committe's hearing of John Roberts, and you have to write your subject.